Thursday, May 27, 2004

The First Degree

I doubt this blog will be funny or interesting in the least. I have been trying to think of different topics for a new post, but have decided to go with a different kind of blog, one where I complain and bitch and moan about the evils of being unemployed blah blah blah.

But before I delve into the lameness that is my psyche at the moment, I need to clear up something about my last blog 'Miracle.' I doubt anyone of my two readers have noticed that I put a good deal of effort in titling my posts - I try to be witty and stay away from go-to easy titles like: "My First Ad" or "My Dinner Last Night".

Alas. I have let myself down. 'Miracle' was actually supposed to be a brief review of the recently released DVD of the same name, where I would compare and contrast the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team's triumph over the unbeatable Russian team to the ups and downs of freelance work and looking for a job. The post was to end, like the movie did, with Al Michaels screaming, "Do you believe in miracles? Yes!!!" as the team wins and my spot was played.

This obviously did not work out as planned. I forgot to include the movie comparison, thereby making the title seem rather awkward and lame.

Ok. Now to the bitching part.

I am sick of looking for jobs. There are tons of job openings out there, but none of them are remotely what I want to do. I want to write for a living. Not in the stereotypical wood-paneled office, pipe smoking, tweed jacket kind of way. I want to write copy. For ads. Thats it. My life in a nutshell. I want to get people to fall in love with a product or service because of the ads, the brands. I don't want to answer phones, set appointments, sell cars or lotions or knives or motor oil. I want to write the ads that sell. I don't want to operate a cash register - I did that already and know more than anything else right now that I can't do it anymore. I might actually die. I mean it.

But here's the thing: beggars can't be choosers. I know this. I know I can't sit here on my ass bitching about not having money because, well, I don't work. Kind of a simple cause and effect relationship. But still - it sucks. The other day, a friend of mine posed a question to no one in particular, but seemed directed at me. He mused, "I don't understand why anyone would go to school right now. Most people I know who went can't find a job. Why waste all that money when it isn't going to do anything for you?"

I would be lying if I said that I have never shared his sentiments at one point or another in the past year. I can't even begin to count the number of times I have felt like taking my diploma and shredding it. Five years of school and all I have is this lousy paper.

But here's the thing: my friend lays carpet for a living. He does something that I have no idea how to do. He makes a very good living. It's great. I am very happy for him. However, when I think of his question, I can't help but wonder if laying carpet is his life's ambition. Maybe it is, but probably isn't. I doubt when asked in second grade what he wants to do when he grows up he responds enthusiastically: "I want to lay carpet!"

But then again, I never said: "I want to be unemployed!" and look at me.


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