Wednesday, June 09, 2004

This is the End?

I don't know what to say right now. I guess I was just figuring that by now, someone, SOMEWHERE, would have read my blog. But I don't think it's happening. Now, I don't really know for sure that the only readers of my online bitching journal are my lovely wife and my loving mother, but I am pretty sure that they are indeed, it.

A little disappointing, to say the least. Not that my mother and wife are bad people or anything like that and I am ashamed of them reading my blog, its just that, well, two people...

You get the idea. It kind of sucks.

But as my good Little League coach said EVERY time I screwed up: "Just have fun."

Obviously he hadn't been actually watching me play, or he would have brought me over to the bench, sent the other kids out to their positions, and had a 'heart-to-heart' with me about 'naturally gifted baseball players' and 'not-so-naturally gifted baseball players.'

Anyhow, I haven't written in a while to to be honest, I have been feeling bad about it. I have some kind of guilt complex or something because, out of the blue, I have been offered a writing job at a local agency. Now, after a year of being very unemployed and taking on jobs that I shudder to think about, I am actually going to be receiving paychecks for something I want to do. I have heard this referred to as a "career," but I think it is still much too early to think of anything that serious sounding;

I have to be honest here. I am terrified of starting this new job. I don't know what it is. Maybe its like I am just used to sitting at home, looking for jobs, and playing 'Halo.' I mean, yeah, it was a meager existance. And yeah, I was very depressed. And yeah, suicide was starting to look like a viable option to getting out of debt...

I guess the point I am trying to make is that it is going to weird, is all. On Monday morning, I will walk into the office, meet people, immediately forget their names, smile a lot, meet more people, and immediately forget their names as well. Oh, and probably you know, work and have lunch.

But I haven't done that new-hire stuff for five years, so its going to be strange.

So with all of that said, where do I go from here? Obviously this blog isn't creating that much buzz - I have yet to make it on Blogger's 'Blogs Of Note,' a goal of mine since I first started this thing. Do I start a new blog? Maybe one that chronicles my new adventures in an ad agency? Or keep writing here about various stuff? I could do both, but then I would have to quit my new job which would mean I would be back to writing this boring crap.

And why am I asking questions here? There will be no responses, no suggestions. Who am I kidding? No one reads this shit.

Is this the end?

Stupid questions...


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