Reality bites. Again
Okay, last night, I get home from the gym and find SockMama sitting on the couch, surfing the web (from our NEW WIRELESS APPLE AIRPORT! That I INSTALLED! Here's me doing the "Independant Andy Kicks Ass" dance - feel free to join in anytime), and, for lack of a better word, "absorbing" a television show. (In her defense, she wasn't actually watching the show - it was one for background noise. If the show is one again next week, that means she's transitioned to actually watching the show and making my life a living, breathing, unbearable Hell.) This show, like virtually everything else on television was reality based.
Sensing the bile rising up my esophogus (now THAT's a tough word to spell - I wonder if I nailed it?), I immediately started to panic. "Not another one. No. It can't be. There's too many. They're everywhere." I felt like Will Smith in Enemy of the State.
Anyhow, I only caught the last part of it, but this particular piece of visual shit is hosted by none other than Joan Lunden! Yep. If you happen to be the one wondering whatever happened to Joan Lunden well, you're in luck, because she just happens to be immitating the venerably bland Martha Stewart (without the whole corporate fraud thing, of course) on primetime on NBC/CBS/FOX/ABC!
YAY!
Anyhow, the show is called Wickedly Perfect and is quite possibly the lamest idea for reality TV. Think about it for a sec (anymore and you become sucked in, like in Goodfellas or The Godfather, only without the menacing helicopters and Luca Braccis): reality television is all about placing people in stressful situations and then editing the hell out of them to create villans and good guys, bitches and nice girls. Anyhow, the whole point is that they're based (ideally) on a unique idea.
Wickedly Perfect proves that reality TV is out of ideas. Here's the show's overview:
"Emmy Award-winning journalist Joan Lunden hosts WICKEDLY PERFECT, a new reality show that pits 12 people with a creative knack for the finer things in life in a no-holds-barred competition to crown the country's new authority on at-home living. These perfection-obsessed contestants, whose motto is "anything you can do, I can do better," will compete in different areas of beautifying the home and entertaining, including party planning, gardening, cooking, baking, sewing, crafts, floral arranging and decorating. In addition to chronicling the sometimes funny, sometimes factious relationships that develop among the tightly wound, extremely competitive participants, each week a contestant will be eliminated from their luxurious estate located in New England."
Wow. Sign me up. Sewing and floral arrangements? I'm dizzy from the sheer overwhelming tension of the whole thing. I wonder if one of them will do the dreaded "Triple Bias" stitch or set up "Evil Jungle Monkey" arrangement which incorporates Hawaiin hibuscus, native Thai plants (pre-tsunami, of course - they're rare now and more expensive), and a mango thrown in for color and hue balance.
Give me a fucking break. Seriously. I think reality tv is a year away from contestants being locked in rooms to watch watch paint dry. Or grass grow. I mean, I know I'm a reality tv skeptic anyhow, but even the SockMama agreed that the idea is boring - where's the drama? Who can cook apples and present them in a creative manner?
Dear Lord. If this show, combined with Trump (asshole - it starts AGAIN in a week and a half...NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) somehow becomes a regular occurance in my living room, I might actually have to hang myself.
Or find a SARS carrier and make sweet, passionate love to them.
Sensing the bile rising up my esophogus (now THAT's a tough word to spell - I wonder if I nailed it?), I immediately started to panic. "Not another one. No. It can't be. There's too many. They're everywhere." I felt like Will Smith in Enemy of the State.
Anyhow, I only caught the last part of it, but this particular piece of visual shit is hosted by none other than Joan Lunden! Yep. If you happen to be the one wondering whatever happened to Joan Lunden well, you're in luck, because she just happens to be immitating the venerably bland Martha Stewart (without the whole corporate fraud thing, of course) on primetime on NBC/CBS/FOX/ABC!
YAY!
Anyhow, the show is called Wickedly Perfect and is quite possibly the lamest idea for reality TV. Think about it for a sec (anymore and you become sucked in, like in Goodfellas or The Godfather, only without the menacing helicopters and Luca Braccis): reality television is all about placing people in stressful situations and then editing the hell out of them to create villans and good guys, bitches and nice girls. Anyhow, the whole point is that they're based (ideally) on a unique idea.
Wickedly Perfect proves that reality TV is out of ideas. Here's the show's overview:
"Emmy Award-winning journalist Joan Lunden hosts WICKEDLY PERFECT, a new reality show that pits 12 people with a creative knack for the finer things in life in a no-holds-barred competition to crown the country's new authority on at-home living. These perfection-obsessed contestants, whose motto is "anything you can do, I can do better," will compete in different areas of beautifying the home and entertaining, including party planning, gardening, cooking, baking, sewing, crafts, floral arranging and decorating. In addition to chronicling the sometimes funny, sometimes factious relationships that develop among the tightly wound, extremely competitive participants, each week a contestant will be eliminated from their luxurious estate located in New England."
Wow. Sign me up. Sewing and floral arrangements? I'm dizzy from the sheer overwhelming tension of the whole thing. I wonder if one of them will do the dreaded "Triple Bias" stitch or set up "Evil Jungle Monkey" arrangement which incorporates Hawaiin hibuscus, native Thai plants (pre-tsunami, of course - they're rare now and more expensive), and a mango thrown in for color and hue balance.
Give me a fucking break. Seriously. I think reality tv is a year away from contestants being locked in rooms to watch watch paint dry. Or grass grow. I mean, I know I'm a reality tv skeptic anyhow, but even the SockMama agreed that the idea is boring - where's the drama? Who can cook apples and present them in a creative manner?
Dear Lord. If this show, combined with Trump (asshole - it starts AGAIN in a week and a half...NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) somehow becomes a regular occurance in my living room, I might actually have to hang myself.
Or find a SARS carrier and make sweet, passionate love to them.
posted by The Haiku Review at 7:56 AM
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