Thursday, October 28, 2004

Link this!

So much to say, and so little time.

First off: The World Series: In a word, the series itself was actually pretty lame - sweeps usually are.

However.

The SOX WON THE SERIES!!!!!

But not only that, they completed the Greatest Sports Comback of all Time. I don't care how you argue it - winning eight straight games, including three comeback wins over the Yankees of all teams, AT HOME...well, let's just say history was made. So, in honor of this, if you are remotely interested in sports or movies, check out Bill Simmons, "The Sports Guy" column, on ESPN.com's Page2. This guy is a very funny writer and a Boston native, so he's loving life right now. He's worth it. Check him out: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/simmons/index

Also, it turns out that my non-kin reader count has soared to four: First there was Collin, then came Monkey, then the lovely Robyn (GO SOX!!!!!!!), and now Christiane. You know, I should seriously look into creating a little links bar on the side, but I don't know how and I don't care to go into it that much, so I think I'll just keep up the lniks like this.

Once I figure out a little more HTML, this will probably get easier. Maybe not. Oh well.

And what would Adverbloggin be without a random rant, right? Here goes.

At Costco, my wife picked up some contact solution for me. This was very nice of her and was a very good buy: two gigantic bottles of solution and a handy-dandy, new-fangled contact case (no more screw down cases for me, thank you very much. This one comes complete with hinges...anyhow...). So, I take out the a bottle, squirt the stuff into the little case, and put my contacts in it to soak overnight, just like my creepy optometrist told me to do (more on him later on).

I wake up the next morning, let the dog out, take a shower, and then stumble fuzzily towards the sink where my eye stuff lies. I unscrew the top. Unhinge the "R" (for "Right" -very scientific) and pop the contact in. My right eye then proceeds to shriek in pain - seriously, you could hear it. Or maybe that was just me...I don't know. It hurt so bad that I couldn't keep my eye open long enough to take the evil little water-based alien out; I just had to stand there, hopping around, and clutching at my face...kind of like the dude in "The Rock" who's face melts when it comes into contact with VX Nerve Gas. So, after two minutes of dumbly poking at my eye, trying to force my eyelid open to remove the contact, I succeed. I unhinge the case, throw it the piece of plastic junk in there, and begin hunting for my glasses.

I discover later that this type of solution you can’t use directly in your eyes; apparently it has some sort of organism (or something) that eats away the evil proteins that apparently develop when your contacts are in during the day.

Whatever.

All I know, is that if something is to go in your eye, it shouldn’t hurt. Especially if it’s marketed towards consumers. I’m sure my wife wouldn’t have bought this stuff if the box had proclaimed, “This product will actually sear your retinas, causing you to look drawn out!” To make sure, I just checked the package…nope…no such warning or colorful info box. Just a bright red tip on the nozzle of the bottle with funky, shaky type that says: “Do not use directly in eyes.”

What the fuck kind of product is this? It’s for your EYES! Isn’t this like buying a lawnmower, but it says: “Not for cutting grass.”????????

I need to go lie down.

But I’m at work.

Shit.

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