SockHobbit and I have now officially voted.
Please, Sean Penn, P Diddy, Michael Moore, Dubya, John Kerry…DON’T CALL ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Technically, we voted a week and a half ago. Living in the purdy state of Oregon, we are allowed to vote by mail, meaning we receive our ballots and super-secure security envelopes in the mail, and then we fill them out and return them in the mail. Which is fine, save for one minor flaw: you must mail them back out. See, we had accidently misplaced them and assumed that they had been mailed out along with some other pieces of mail. 'Tis a good thing SockHobbit found them in time to drop them off today.
Anyhow, two things about this mail-in-voting thing: one is that the super-secure security envelope is just a regular envelope that has a little die-cut hole in it to confirm that there is indeed a ballot envelope in there. The typeface and ALL CAPS indicating that the outer envelope is secure seems entirely ludicrous to me. It’s an envelope, except that it has big red letters ordering me to use said envelope, otherwise the vote will not count. What exactly is so “secure” about this? So they use some icky-tasting glue and use two envelopes…is this really the definition of secure? Is this how are information is secure: “All content on this website is encrypted with the latest in security devices: a glued envelope. Good day.” Or maybe: “The Federal Reserve is staffed with highly-trained guards with unilateral power to make decisions to kill anyone who…opens the glued envelope which effectively houses our nations’ financial reserves.”
Stupid. Just call is a secrecy envelope and I wouldn’t be so irritated.
The second thing: we have to provide the friggin’ stamp to mail it! Come on! I know that stamps are relatively cheap, but at the rate in which they are rising, the next election will force us to pay .75 cents in order to vote. Give me a break. This shouldn’t be happening; nowhere else are you effectively forced to have to pay for your vote.
Hell, even NetFlix knows this! That’s why they put that magic little square on the envelope: “Postage Paid.”
Except that they aren’t really counting ballots.
Just movies.
But still.
Technically, we voted a week and a half ago. Living in the purdy state of Oregon, we are allowed to vote by mail, meaning we receive our ballots and super-secure security envelopes in the mail, and then we fill them out and return them in the mail. Which is fine, save for one minor flaw: you must mail them back out. See, we had accidently misplaced them and assumed that they had been mailed out along with some other pieces of mail. 'Tis a good thing SockHobbit found them in time to drop them off today.
Anyhow, two things about this mail-in-voting thing: one is that the super-secure security envelope is just a regular envelope that has a little die-cut hole in it to confirm that there is indeed a ballot envelope in there. The typeface and ALL CAPS indicating that the outer envelope is secure seems entirely ludicrous to me. It’s an envelope, except that it has big red letters ordering me to use said envelope, otherwise the vote will not count. What exactly is so “secure” about this? So they use some icky-tasting glue and use two envelopes…is this really the definition of secure? Is this how are information is secure: “All content on this website is encrypted with the latest in security devices: a glued envelope. Good day.” Or maybe: “The Federal Reserve is staffed with highly-trained guards with unilateral power to make decisions to kill anyone who…opens the glued envelope which effectively houses our nations’ financial reserves.”
Stupid. Just call is a secrecy envelope and I wouldn’t be so irritated.
The second thing: we have to provide the friggin’ stamp to mail it! Come on! I know that stamps are relatively cheap, but at the rate in which they are rising, the next election will force us to pay .75 cents in order to vote. Give me a break. This shouldn’t be happening; nowhere else are you effectively forced to have to pay for your vote.
Hell, even NetFlix knows this! That’s why they put that magic little square on the envelope: “Postage Paid.”
Except that they aren’t really counting ballots.
Just movies.
But still.
posted by The Haiku Review at 1:32 PM
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