More lost treasure

This was a spot I wrote for a local car dealership. Needless to say, it didn't make the cut.

I like the premise and the writing needs tweaking, but not all together bad for one of my first radio spots.

When reading it, keep in mind ANCR 2 has a really gruff voice, kind of like a hungover Hell's Angel.

Here goes:


ANCR 1: Because we have more cars in one place than any place in
Oregon –

ANCR 2: What’d you say?

ANCR 1: Oh. Hello…didn’t see you there. Is there something I can help you with?

ANCR 2: What’d you say before?

ANCR 1: What? Oh, “more cars in one place than any place in Oregon?”

ANCR 2: Yeah. It ain’t true.

ANCR 1: Sure it is. We have the recent numbers –

ANCR 2: It can’t be true. My buddy Steelhead has five different cars sitting right in front of his trailer.

ANCR 1: Steelhead? Um, I don’t think we’re talking about the same-

ANCR 2: I don’t want any apologies or anything like ‘at. I jus’ want you t’mention Steelhead’s place, you know? Truth in Advertisin’ and whatnot.

ANCR 1: Yes, but Royal Moore Auto Center is paying for the production and-

ANCR 2: Just say it and I won’t bring the cops into it…I think the local branch’d be plenty happy t’catch wind of this.

ANCR 1: If I say it will you leave?

ANCR 2: Most assuredly.

ANCR 1: Alright. “Royal Moore Auto Center and Steelhead’s trailer have the most cars in one place than any other place in Oregon. Come and test drive any car, truck, or SUV from seven different manufacturers! Or visit royalmoore.com.” There. How was that?

ANCR 2: It was okay, but I’d change ‘trailer’ to ‘joint.’ That’s just me, though.