I wonder if Hell is hiring?
Turns out my job, while fun and exciting most of the time, can sometimes be downright excrutiating. Not that I'm any different from the majority of the working public. Hell, even pro basketball players bitch. And they're paid millions of dollars for playing a game and occasionally inciting beer-soaked brawls. Ah, the good life.
What I'm getting at, is that I've been working insane hours working on new business proposals and beer billboards, and haven't had too much time to update my blog. Let alone read anyone else's. I mean, I haven't even checked in with Collin or Derek in almost a week. Seriously...you can even check my history in my browser.
But seeing as how no one is making a special trip out to Portland to hack my beloved (and increasingly over-stuffed) iBook, you're just going to have to take my word for it.
Now on to other stuff. Namely, The Amazing Race. Or, as it is bound to be christened, "The Amazingly Redundant Race." I know most everyone knows that I hate reality TV, and that's fine. But that isn't going to stop me from bitching about the saturation of it. Seriously. Is the network (and more increasingly, cable) world so deplete of new ideas that they are forced to throw their hands up in the air in frustration while they exclaim, "Fuck it. Let's just do it again in two weeks. Now where did my private jet go?"
I touched on this a few times before, but seriously, the last Amazing Race was concluded barely three weeks ago, and now it's slated to start again next friggin' Tuesday! At what point is the same idea, with (essentially) the same people, and the same conclusion (someone gets kicked off) run its course? I'll admit it. I didn't think reality TV could go on this long - I figured it would have to start declining by now.
Anyhow, enough with the reality TV stuff. It's there, it'll be there for a lot longer than I care to think about, and I'm sick of it. On to other stuff.
Christiane, who shares the same affection for Gin (always capitalized - it's that important) as I do, does this little blog thing called "Three Things" (yes, capitalized, very important) that I am going to blatantly rip off. So here goes:
3 places I would move to:
1. Miami, Florida. This has a major, critical caveat, though. I would need to be gainfully employed as a copywriter at Crispin, Porter, and Bogusky. Otherwise, I dispise, with all my being, soul, and desire to live, the city of Miami. It makes Los Angeles look like a timid little kid who's surrounded by gigantic aunts trying to kiss him and continue to pester him about what he wants to be when he grows up. (Sorry, flashback.)
2. Vancouver, B.C. I'm not kidding. This town kicks ass. It's beautiful, the people are awesome, and it has an amazing vibe. Plus, it's astoundingly clean. Seriously, this city should be in the Book of Records for urban cleanliness. Sure, it has its share of homeless people, but even they are nicer than what we have here in Portland. Plus, the exchange rate is still working in our favor there, so a quarter here is like fifty cents there.
3. San Francisco, CA. I've only visited it once, but it was during Thanksgiving weekend and, like the song goes, I left my heart there. It's just one of those places where there's something for everybody, even if you have no idea what you're looking for. And the Museum of Modern Art there is breathtaking. Plus, there's quite a few kickass ad agencies there, as well.
3 things I've done that not many people know about:
1. When my mom went to Italy for a month, I took her car (I was 15 - not legal to drive alone) and went joy riding.
2. My friend and I once sold a bag of parsley to this kid and convinced him it was weed. And then were forced to suffer through two bowls and one joint, because we couldn't come up with an excuse quick enough to get out of there. We did make 40 bucks, though.
3. In 6th grade, I was late to a class and, as I was sprinting up the stairs, I felt the pencil in my hand connect with something soft. I turned around and to my horror, saw a kid clutching his left eye. Blood was seeping through his fingers and we just stared at each other - he horrifed, myself conflicted because I wanted to help the guy, but at the same time, this was the last time I could be late for class before getting detention. And as he stumbled down the stairs, I knew I what I had to do: I bolted for class. I still have a guilt complex about this.
3 things I could eat/drink for a 10-year period
1. Pizza. Specifically a local joint called Flying Pie. It's my crux. My cocaine. My addiction. I love the stuff, even though I inevitably eat way too much of it. But my god, New York-style thin crust is enough for me to take down a third world government.
2. Cold Stone Creamery Ice Cream. I don't know if this is an Oregon-only thing, but this place is my Mecca. The ice cream is scooped with gigantic paddles. 'Nuff said.
3. Tie: Gin (usually Sapphire, but most recently Hendrick's) and Widmer Hefeweizen. Both are incredibly refreshing and, even better, I can drink it all night.
So that's it. Sorry for the lack of posts - I'll try better next time.
Have a great Friday!
What I'm getting at, is that I've been working insane hours working on new business proposals and beer billboards, and haven't had too much time to update my blog. Let alone read anyone else's. I mean, I haven't even checked in with Collin or Derek in almost a week. Seriously...you can even check my history in my browser.
But seeing as how no one is making a special trip out to Portland to hack my beloved (and increasingly over-stuffed) iBook, you're just going to have to take my word for it.
Now on to other stuff. Namely, The Amazing Race. Or, as it is bound to be christened, "The Amazingly Redundant Race." I know most everyone knows that I hate reality TV, and that's fine. But that isn't going to stop me from bitching about the saturation of it. Seriously. Is the network (and more increasingly, cable) world so deplete of new ideas that they are forced to throw their hands up in the air in frustration while they exclaim, "Fuck it. Let's just do it again in two weeks. Now where did my private jet go?"
I touched on this a few times before, but seriously, the last Amazing Race was concluded barely three weeks ago, and now it's slated to start again next friggin' Tuesday! At what point is the same idea, with (essentially) the same people, and the same conclusion (someone gets kicked off) run its course? I'll admit it. I didn't think reality TV could go on this long - I figured it would have to start declining by now.
Anyhow, enough with the reality TV stuff. It's there, it'll be there for a lot longer than I care to think about, and I'm sick of it. On to other stuff.
Christiane, who shares the same affection for Gin (always capitalized - it's that important) as I do, does this little blog thing called "Three Things" (yes, capitalized, very important) that I am going to blatantly rip off. So here goes:
3 places I would move to:
1. Miami, Florida. This has a major, critical caveat, though. I would need to be gainfully employed as a copywriter at Crispin, Porter, and Bogusky. Otherwise, I dispise, with all my being, soul, and desire to live, the city of Miami. It makes Los Angeles look like a timid little kid who's surrounded by gigantic aunts trying to kiss him and continue to pester him about what he wants to be when he grows up. (Sorry, flashback.)
2. Vancouver, B.C. I'm not kidding. This town kicks ass. It's beautiful, the people are awesome, and it has an amazing vibe. Plus, it's astoundingly clean. Seriously, this city should be in the Book of Records for urban cleanliness. Sure, it has its share of homeless people, but even they are nicer than what we have here in Portland. Plus, the exchange rate is still working in our favor there, so a quarter here is like fifty cents there.
3. San Francisco, CA. I've only visited it once, but it was during Thanksgiving weekend and, like the song goes, I left my heart there. It's just one of those places where there's something for everybody, even if you have no idea what you're looking for. And the Museum of Modern Art there is breathtaking. Plus, there's quite a few kickass ad agencies there, as well.
3 things I've done that not many people know about:
1. When my mom went to Italy for a month, I took her car (I was 15 - not legal to drive alone) and went joy riding.
2. My friend and I once sold a bag of parsley to this kid and convinced him it was weed. And then were forced to suffer through two bowls and one joint, because we couldn't come up with an excuse quick enough to get out of there. We did make 40 bucks, though.
3. In 6th grade, I was late to a class and, as I was sprinting up the stairs, I felt the pencil in my hand connect with something soft. I turned around and to my horror, saw a kid clutching his left eye. Blood was seeping through his fingers and we just stared at each other - he horrifed, myself conflicted because I wanted to help the guy, but at the same time, this was the last time I could be late for class before getting detention. And as he stumbled down the stairs, I knew I what I had to do: I bolted for class. I still have a guilt complex about this.
3 things I could eat/drink for a 10-year period
1. Pizza. Specifically a local joint called Flying Pie. It's my crux. My cocaine. My addiction. I love the stuff, even though I inevitably eat way too much of it. But my god, New York-style thin crust is enough for me to take down a third world government.
2. Cold Stone Creamery Ice Cream. I don't know if this is an Oregon-only thing, but this place is my Mecca. The ice cream is scooped with gigantic paddles. 'Nuff said.
3. Tie: Gin (usually Sapphire, but most recently Hendrick's) and Widmer Hefeweizen. Both are incredibly refreshing and, even better, I can drink it all night.
So that's it. Sorry for the lack of posts - I'll try better next time.
Have a great Friday!
posted by The Haiku Review at 8:41 PM
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