Monday, November 29, 2004

Vines vs. Shoots

While perusing the various coffee shops, bookstores, coffee shops, coffee shops, gift shops, trinket stores, wharfs, parks, neighborhoods, and coffee shops in San Francisco, I thought of something a friend of mine at work had brought up. Now, this friend is an interesting guy - he wears black all of the time, drives a hyper-modified 3 Series, and is the owner of a very expansive wine collection.

Anyhow, the point.

He asked me: "Which would win? Bamboo plants or blackberry bushes?"

Having been on the wrong end of way too many blackberry bushes at my mom's old place, I quickly answered that blackberry would be the king of the hill in this situation. I was confident, assured of myself. Like when the King in Braveheart mowed down his own soldiers without a moment's thought otherwise, insisting, "we'll get some of theirs, too."

That's me.

But then I started thinking about it for a while. Bamboo is pretty invasive stuff. I mean, blackberry gets around, but bamboo is pretty much the bunny rabbit of vegetation: one little leaf gets outside of a pot and your pretty much screwed. One day, you have a nice Zen look and feel. The next you have to set a machete next to the side door in order to hack your way to the car.

I think though, that in the end, blackberry would win. I have no scientific backing, proof, postulates, or anything else for this reasoning.

But blackberry bushes have thorns.

Lots of them.

And bamboo doesn't. Blackberry bushes produce blood and anguish, bamboo...anguish, but not so much blood.

Blackberry bushes in 5.

What's your call? Bamboo vs. blackberry? Who'd win?